Nurture the Relationship with YOU

This week make yourself a top priority and see how it helps you show up as your best self!

Prioritizing YOU

Is it time to let go of the sabotaging belief that prioritizing yourself is selfish?

If there is any part of you that believes that other peoples needs are more important than yours or that you can’t possibly prioritize yourself first – then I am going to be really bold here and answer the question above for you – with a big fat YES.

It is time to let that belief go – personally and as a society.

The truth is… when you commit to YOU, you commit to putting yourself in the optimal position to give the absolute best of yourself.

If you don’t put yourself on the top of your priority list – then honest who will?

And if you are okay with that – then there is a deeper and more detrimental belief in you that believes you are not worthy of being a priority to anyone and this my friend is just not true.

If you landed on this page and you are reading this now it is for no other than reason than for me to remind you that;

You are worth every single ounce of energy you put into yourself!!

And when you put the nurturing energy of self-care and self-love into yourself – you will have an abundance of the same energy to offer to the people and relationships you love, those relationships that need repairing, your work and your life as a whole.

When you don’t realize your worth or believe that you are 100% worthy of every ounce of energy and time you give to yourself – then you will end up feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, underappreciated and eventually resentful of all that you do.

Even worse… is the detriment of the fall out of saying or doing something you later regret and wish you could take back. Have you ever had the experience of exploding with anger at the ones you love the most, or even an innocent bystander or a person who you feel has wronged you in that moment?

OR

Maybe you keep it all bottled up inside of you, not wanting to “rock the boat” or have that confrontation and it festers inside of you creating exhaustion, pain, sickness or a disease.

None of us are immune to any of this. We all have a story and we can all relate to this.

Today though.

We can change all that.

We can tell a different story.

It starts with putting YOU on the top of your priority list and ditching the belief that it is selfish to do so!

If you are a chronic people pleaser (as I used to be) the people in your life will likely not support you on this new behaviour – at least not at first. They get many benefits from your “disease to please” and when you start breaking this habit – they may complain, react with hurt feelings and possibly even get angry. Be patient with these people – the ones that truly love you, will eventually understand and come around.  A much stronger relationship is then formed.

The ones that don’t understand are the ones that are draining and blocking your energy the most. Putting yourself first is the only antidote to this situation. They will not stand for your new behaviour. They will call you selfish and then seek out a new person they can manipulate into catering to their needs.

These people are your “greatest teachers” but before you can see them as your teacher you need to hear their words differently. When they call you selfish – what they are really saying is “I want you to do what I want you to do and I don’t care what you really want or need.”

Harsh?

Yes!

However…let’s take a step back here – take a deep breathe in and remember…you ultimately taught them it was okay to treat you this way.

How?

By not;

• Honoring yourself.
• Prioritizing yourself.
• Setting boundaries.
• Knowing you are worthy of every moment you commit to caring for yourself.
• Nurturing your relationship with YOU.

Does this mean these relationships must end? Not necessarily. It means first and foremost that the relationship with yourself needs to begin and what happens through that commitment to yourself is the best thing for you and your energy.

Last week’s blog post was about tuning into your Spiritual mind verses your Ego mind. (click here to access it)

In a nut shell, the ability to tune into your Spiritual mind will absolutely clear the belief that making yourself a priority is selfish AND it will generate the self-love and respect needed to follow through with your commitment to nurture the longest relationship you will ever have – the one with yourself! Aligning and tuning into your Spiritual mind will put you in the position to give those you love the BEST of you – instead of what’s left of you.

Your ego mind on the other hand is the part of your mind that feels guilty for taking time for yourself and is the part of you that criticizes and judges many of your choices. Your ego mind is easily manipulated by others because it doesn’t believe in your worth. Your ego mind will feed the belief that you are selfish for taking care of yourself first and will ultimately sabotage your commitment to nurture a positive relationship with yourself. It will put you in the position of giving so much of yourself to others that you are depleted of energy and only able to give less than half of what you are actually capable of giving.

“Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.” ~Katie Reed

Some of you are smiling because you know this to be true.

For others, I hope this is giving you some inspiration to make yourself a priority and nurture a relationship with YOU!

Maybe, this feels like a complicated obstacle course or a climb up to a very high mountain top but I am living proof that you can turn a dysfunctional relationship with yourself around. If I can do it…you can too! 

Where to begin?

The Discipline

The discipline is a practice to get yourself in the proper mindset every morning to essentially believe in your worth.

1. First thing every morning – before anything else (phone, TV, iPad, emails or anything that can easily pull you into the outer world) commit to some time for yourself. (Remind yourself you are worth every minute you commit to yourself because your ego mind will attempt to talk you out of doing this – this is a pivotal moment in your day – will your ego rule the day? Or is your Spiritual mind going to step in and set the stage? It is always your decision – but your ego mind will blame outer circumstances.)
2. If your Spiritual mind has stepped in and been successful in reminding you of your worth – you will now…
3. Check in with yourself. How does your body feel? Notice any and all sensations in your body. Notice your feelings and emotions. Notice everything with curiosity and without judgement. 
4. Set an intention for yourself for the day. Write it down.
5. Settle into a space of stillness, put your hand onto your heart, take a few deep grounding breathes and silently draw yourself into all the things in your life you are grateful for.
6. Remain in stillness and silence for a pre-determined amount of time (I recommend you set a timer) then allow the silent words & images of all you are grateful for to swirl around you. Let your heart open.
7. When your mind wanders (and it will) just gently notice it and bring your awareness to the coolness in your nostrils as you inhale and the warmth in your nostrils as you exhale. Keep your awareness here as best as you can until your timer bell goes off.
8. Slowly begin to move your body. Start with some gentle movements, gentle stretches and full deep breathes as you begin to open your eyes. Remind yourself of the intention you set for the day as you hug yourself affectionately.
9. Your day has now officially started. You have just connected and tuned into your Spiritual mind. You have brought attention, acceptance, appreciation and affection into your body and your mind – you have made yourself a priority.
10. If time – take a few minutes to move your body – the “Tap in” we do in the video (attached) in the last 5 minutes is a great way to move and honor your body.

This Week’s Intention

1. Make yourself a priority.
2. Meditate daily. (which is what the discipline practice above is)
3. Nurture the relationship with yourself by giving yourself the 4A’s (attention, acceptance, appreciation & affection)
4. Re-read my blog on the 4A’s here click here to access it 

Be willing to step into a whole new relationship with yourself! Align with the absolute best version of you! Prioritize YOU!

Namaste my friends;

Leslie

Have you ever wondered if on-line fitness, yoga or meditation classes would be a good fit for you?  Contact me at leslie@wellnessdefined.ca to try a free class or two.