Happy New Year! Happy New You.

2023 It is a new year.

Whether you want to eat healthier, move or stretch your body more, sleep better, finally deal with your emotional baggage, focus on self-care or cultivate a meditation or mindfulness practice to de-stress your life or current circumstances, it all begins with an intention.

Success of these desires is dependent on having a solid intention practice.

Once you have an intention set, the next step is action. Putting our intentions into practice on a daily regular basis requires awareness and some routine habits to get us off onto the right foot and in the directional path of success.

What areas of your life are you seeking success?

NOTE: check in with your heart and what you truly want and not from your head and what you think you should want…

Do you want more success in;

• Your relationships (specific relationships or all relationships)
• Love (this includes self-love)
• Your career
• Finances
• Health, fitness, weight loss goals
• Less pain (emotional or physical)
• De-stressing your life, better sleeps
• Slowing down
• Finding time for you
• Finding peace
• Being kind
• Not taking life so seriously
• Laughter
• Connection
• Any other part of your life that I haven’t listed here yet J

Once we have determined that there is an area of our life that we would like to see change and be more successful at, we can then ask ourselves what we want.

For example if you tend to be sick a lot, or do not have much energy or stamina in your day, then you would most likely not be feeling very successful in the area of your health.

If success in increasing your health is something that you would like to focus on in the coming days, weeks and months, then we can determine that “better health” is on your list of wants. (Fill in the “better health” with whatever YOU decide you want to focus on) You have to want it though! “Thinking” you should want it – will not result in success.

Making sure you are doing this for YOU will get you onto the right path. 

Once we know what we want, we have a focused goal. These practices are particularly important if this is a goal you have tried to achieve many times before and for various different reason, have not been able to achieve.

For the sake of understanding this process we will go with the generic goal to find success in a healthier lifestyle. The goal is to feel better and have more energy. The intention is to make healthier choices to support this goal.

Intentions are the important action steps we take to reach our goals, but before we commit to any intention, we are going to step back and do something first that some of you may roll your eyes at and cause you to stop reading this – some of you may even call B.S on me.

Just wait…

Hear me out 

Especially if you would love to call B.S. on me.

Read until the end and if this practice to success is not for you – then I respect that – I am just asking that you be willing to consider achieving your goals, whatever they may be, from a different perspective.  

What are we going to step back into?

1.  We get really clear on what it is we want
2. Then we create a positive affirmation that supports what we want. Write it down.
3. Example; if you want to be healthier, then you create the affirmation “I am healthy” or “I make healthy choices”
4. Repeat this affirmation to yourself often throughout your day.

 Those who believe that positive affirmation work is B.S most likely have already written me off.

“Thinking that positive thoughts are going to help materialize what it is that we want, is basically “woohoo crap” or just simply put “Spirituality B.S.” (roll eyes here)

in the Spiritual world what we might even refer to it as “Spiritual bypassing”

 So…Is this all just B.S.?

 Stay with me here…

We often feel silly or even stupid saying these affirmation, because they aren’t true for us right now and if you  allow yourself to stay with it beyond the “this is so dumb” thought, then it may bring up some disturbing sensations within you. Maybe a tightness in your chest or jaw or possibly a sinking sensation in your belly?

What are these sensations?

These sensations are reminding us that we currently do not have what we want. Who wants to stay in those yucky thoughts and feelings? This is the point most people deem positive affirmation work dumb or B.S.

Then…If we are still sticking with it, our mind may now have conjured up past memories and experiences that add to the uncomfortable sensations and feelings that are continually reminding us that we are not successful at achieving our goals. Again, who honestly wants to stay in this discomfort for any length of time??

Some will though… Why??

Because on the other side of the discomfort is freedom from many limiting beliefs – but we have to let ourselves stay in the discomfort to get to the other side. 

Our ego doesn’t like it here

Our ego doesn’t like discomfort – so it will usually opt out of “being with the discomfort” for any length of time. There are numerous excuses our ego will conjure up to not have to be with the discomfort.

The relief of being in the discomfort we are more familiar with – not having what we want – often outweighs the discomfort of all the memories, thoughts and beliefs that come up when we are in the discomfort of those sensations.  

Do positive affirmation work or are they just B.S.?

 I believe wholeheartedly that they work, I also believe they are B.S.

 Not in the way one might think B.S. stands for though.

 B.S. as in our Belief System.

Positive affirmations can shift our unconscious belief system. 

Those uncomfortable sensations we are feeling?

That is our unconscious Belief System being triggered

and the affirmations triggered it.

What is the belief the affirmation has triggered within us?

It is the belief that we don’t deserve what it is that we really want

It is the belief that we are unworthy of whatever it is we want.

 Every single time you are met with uncomfortable sensations beneath any positive affirmation you say – you have hit on an unconscious belief deep within you that does not believe you deserve or are worthy of what you want. Every. Single. Time.

Read that again

This is not easy to accept and the ego will defend itself by denying it feels unworthy and then will no longer read this “B.S. blog post” or it will want to get to the root of the belief – the ego wants answers and to possibly blame someone.

There is no need to blame anyone or get to the root of the unworthiness belief. We can achieve success in our goals without going down that rabbit hole.  

Are YOU still with me?

Even if your ego wants you to stop reading this – your Soul knows the wisdom behind these words – perhaps it is nudging to you to keep on reading.

There is hope

Let’s begin by changing the affirmation to;

• I deserve a healthy body
• I am worthy of a healthy body
• I deserve to have more energy
• I deserve to make better choices for my body
• I am worthy of better health.

Still feels yucky?

Yep!

It does.

Remember freedom is on the other side of the discomfort, many of us have spent a life time avoiding the discomfort, it is going to take some time to feel and accept the discomfort.  

But now we are taking responsibility for ourselves instead of playing a victim of our circumstances or brushing off the inner work as “stupid”

Under every single unachieved goal in our lifetime, is a belief that we do not deserve it or are worthy of it!!!

How do I know this?

I have had years of experience in unachieved goals and as uncomfortable as it has been to face the personal truth that I didn’t believe in myself or deserve and feel worthy of good things happening for me – I had to also recognize that underneath every single achievement and success I have had in my life – there was a strong belief in myself and I knew that I deserved it.

How long have we had these beliefs?

The tricky part is, that these beliefs are often deep-seeded and have been ingrained in us from often a young age by experiences in our life and from well-meaning and not so well-meaning people in our life. This is inevitable. This is the human experience. We can either be a victim of it or we can move beyond it and choose to believe we are worthy and deserving.

How can we turn these beliefs around?

If we can understand that there is a belief system (B.S) within all of us, that on many levels stop us from making better choices because we don’t truly feel worthy or deserving of what we want – then we now have the power to make some real life-altering changes.    

Once we are willing to see that we have these unworthy beliefs, then we are finally in a position to change them!    

Nothing changes in our life until we take responsibility for our thoughts, our beliefs and ultimately our choices. When we blame others or our circumstances, we give our power to change away. We will continue to take action on the belief that we do not deserve what we want.

For example; it is so much easier to resist that drink or chocolate bar when we truly believe we deserve to be healthier. It is so much easier to decide to go for a walk or a workout or do that Yoga class when we truly believe we deserve to feel better. Oh, the ego mind will come up with any and all excuses to sabotage us – but the bottom line is – no matter how you spin it – if you think you are worthy and deserving of your goal or desire – you will make the better choice.

What if I still slip up?

If we “slip up” or end up making a “less better choice” when we know we deserve what we want – we will not beat ourselves up or feel guilty for slipping up – we pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, be willing to learn something about ourselves in the slip and then move forward, confidently towards our goal.

Why is this slip up different then the countless other times I have slipped?

Because now we KNOW we are worth it and deserve it! It is so much easier to forgive ourselves and others when we know we deserve what we are wanting. It still takes time and it may require many slip up’s to get to our desired outcome – but when we believe we deserve it – the slip up’s happen less and less.

Positive affirmations work!

HOW?

If we allow ourselves to sit in the uncomfortable thoughts that we don’t deserve what it is that we want, we CAN transform these beliefs by affirming our positive belief that we do deserve what we want. We do this until the scale tips from being uncomfortable in the affirmation to accepting and finally feeling and believing that we do deserve it!  

This is a process, be patient because when we FEEL deserving and worthy of whatever we want – then it cannot help but come to us!

Doing the affirmation work is crucial – if you feel “dumb” doing it – then look beneath the ego and ask why you believe you are unworthy of this particular goal?

This is not easy work and so many of our ego’s out there will have excuses and stories to distract us – but they are simply just that – excuses and stories. Which is okay – if you are not ready to change, I am not here to convince you of the effectiveness of this process.

If you are wanting effective change in your life though and you are sick and tired of setting the same goal and intention and not being able to achieve it – then why not give this process a real intentional go?

This process has changed so many parts of my life in a positive way and it is an on-going practice and process. There are days I’ve wanted to run and scream and stop “doing the work” and sometimes I did stop but I soon realized that staying in the sufferings of my mind, when I have felt the freedom of this work, is not an option anymore – the gains far outweigh the suffering now. I no longer want to be a prisoner of my mind and the old limiting belief system that used to sabotage my wants, desires and goals.      

What we need;

• A Journal to write our daily intentions and affirmations in
• Time to commit to ourselves (this can be anywhere from 10 minutes to however much time you want/need or can spare)
• A small, quiet space to yourself to reflect
• An Open mind, an open heart and a willingness to go inward and meet some uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, beliefs and sensations.
• A willingness to drop the ego’s excuses and instead sit with the discomfort until you believe with every fiber of your being – that you deserve whatever it is you want.

The Process…

1. Ask yourself what you want
2. Turn your “want” into a present tense affirmation. Example; “I have a healthy body” or “I am healthy”
3. If it feels strange or uncomfortable to write or say this affirmation out loud – GOOD! You are on the right track! You have discovered an unconscious belief of unworthiness. Turn it into a deserving affirmation. Example; “I am deserving of a healthy body” or “I am worthy of a healthy body” You could even simplify it by declaring “I am deserving of all good things!”
4. Write it often, say it often. Program it to pop up on your phone, email it to yourself, send yourself some flowers with that exact affirmation on it – write it on your bathroom mirror with a sticky note or with bright red lipstick!! Write it everywhere, see it everywhere, say it always…until you believe it!!!

Here is the Intention setting step…

5. Set a daily intention to support this new belief (even if it still feels uncomfortable to say or think) this is the action step to what it is you want. This could be a small baby step each day or a big leap but it is how YOU WILL become successful at achieving your wants & goals. One day at a time, one step at a time.

***Any baby step we take when we believe we are worthy of our desire will be way more effective and successful then any big step we take when we do not truly believe we deserve it – this is when we fall into self-sabotage or victim roles. If you find yourself here again – go back to #1 and start the process all over again.

I would highly encourage reaching out for help if this makes sense to you but you do not know where to begin or how to even start to unpack the sabotaging beliefs you may have.

You can reach out to me personally, as I can guide you through this process with individual coaching session or if you feel you need support on a deeper level to crack open your belief system (B.S) reach out to me and I can refer you to a hypnotherapy coach or counsellor.

We can change our beliefs. When we are willing to take responsibility for our lives, we can move beyond our limiting belief systems and open our minds to this process, and open our hearts to ourselves. This is when we believe we deserve good things  

 This process is worth it.

YOU ARE WORTH IT.

 Make 2023 your year for transformation and change.

We all deserve to be happy.

We all deserve to have abundance in all areas of our lives.

It is time to claim yours now.  

If you are interested in private coaching sessions with Leslie;

Call or text 780 722-3442 or email leslie@wellnessdefined.ca