Emotional and Mental Wellness

The wellness wheel we are diving into this week is our emotional and mental wellness. In order to heal any aspect of our life – we need to FEEL. This can be scary, painful and confusing for many. Tune into the video above for more. And if this speaks to you and you want to go deeper – contact me to register for the series (leslie@wellnessdefined.ca)

What does emotional and mental wellness mean to you?

Each week of this wellness wheel series we will begin by taking some time to reflect on what wellness in this area of our life means to us.

This week we define what emotional and mental wellness means to us individually. As this is the first step to creating and achieving wellness in this area – it is important to take some time with this reflection and answer it clearly and skillfully.

What areas of your life do your emotions (or this could also be lack of emotion) cause the most havoc?

• do you want to change this?
• are you getting something out of these emotions surfacing or keeping them from surfacing? (This could be positive or negative – either way this is important to reflect on)

Next I would like to be very clear that digging into our emotional and mental feelings, thoughts and emotions can be very serious stuff – so if at any time this blogs gets to be too much for you (either emotionally, physically or mentally) please put it aside to revisit later or if you begin to feel unsafe or experience pain that you cannot be with – please consider seeking help from a professional who can safely and effectively take you on this journey of creating balance in your mental and emotional health.

Mental health issues are not anything to be ashamed of and seeking help will be the most courageous next step you can take. (Mental health issues can range anywhere from deep depression to extreme anxiety and can be anything in between with various different severities)

Let’s jump right in…

We need to FEEL our emotions in order to heal any aspects of our life that is out of balance

This means in order to heal our mindset, our body, our relationships, an illness, a situation, our emotions, our thoughts and essentially any problem we are seeking a solution to – we need to be willing and able to feel any and all the emotions that come up for us.

Feeling our emotions is a serious awareness in the present moment that can create genuine transformation, change and healing when we allow ourselves to BE with the process.

If you listened to the video – you learned that for many of us the habit of numbing, ignoring, blaming and deflecting our emotions will keep us trapped in our own cycle of thought and addicted to the stress emotions the stories we tell ourselves create for us. Maybe you were never taught how to feel your emotions, maybe you were taught NOT to feel your emotions and maybe you have spent most of your life numbing your emotions with various different addictions. (Please seek counselling or coaching of some kind if you recognize this within yourself but do not know how to get yourself out of the trapped cycle)

There is hope. There is help.

Below I offer a few suggestions to get us onto the road of empowering ourselves to create wellness in the area of our emotional and mental well-being.

   1. Taking responsibility for our feelings and emotions.

The most important shift of this week is taking responsibility for what we are feeling! Let me be very clear – this does NOT mean taking the blame on ourselves – in fact taking responsibility for what we are feeling – completely relinquishes ALL blame from us, anyone else and all situations and circumstances.

In taking responsibility there is NO MORE BLAME

This is crucial to understand in the process of feeling our emotions.

We do not blame ourselves

We do not blame others

We do not blame situations

We do not blame circumstance.

No one or no thing is to blame.

“No one is responsible for your emotional reactions except you. Others can say and do anything they like but what happens inside you is only the result of what you are thinking and feeling”

~Don Miguel Ruiz Jr

This means as we take responsibility for what we are feeling (and therefore stop blaming) we are empowered to take a deeper look into our thoughts and our emotions, which also shines a light on our fears and insecurities – which is where many people stop and turn around so they can head back into the blame game. This is where it gets uncomfortable but also where the transformation happens!

Blaming is an addiction that keeps us stuck in the problem with no solution in sight.

Taking responsibility for how and what we are feeling is where the solution is.

     2. The next step is to honor, allow and feel any and all emotions

Whatever emotions are showing up – we honor them. We allow them to rise within us and we FEEL them – we do not judge or analyze them – we feel them. We go beyond the blame and judgement and as we move into the feeling of the emotion we move past our (egoic) self and into the space of possibility – where solutions and healing reside. This requires awareness, vulnerability and courage to stay with the discomforts and confusion that will arise – because without blame we get very honest with the stories we are telling ourselves. .

Whether the emotion is;

• fear
• regret
• unworthiness
• anger
• judgement (which is the emotion of blame)
• disgust
• disappointment
• overwhelm
• frustration
• hopefulness
• optimism
• curiosity
• excitement
• creativity
• passion
• appreciation
• freedom
• love
• joy

In our ability to honor, allow and feel the uncomfortable emotions rise up within us comes the ability to feel and fully honor the comfortable emotions (without waiting for “the other shoe to drop.”)

   3. Notice the stories we are telling

Now we get very curious about the meaning we have attached to the emotions we are feeling and the momentum of our thoughts – which lead to the stories we are telling ourselves.

If we are not aware of or willing to take this step – then our stories take on a life of their own and bigger stories get created in our mind. It is our attachments to these stories that keep us stuck in the problem, revert us back to blame and can easily lead to depression, anxiety and disconnection in our relationships. The ability to recognize and challenge these stories is directly related to the amount of truth we are able to accept about ourselves without shutting down or turning away.

When we can bravely take this step – we can then ask ourselves if this is the story we want to continue to tell and if the answer is yes – it would be beneficial to ask ourselves what we are getting out of this continued story. If the answer is no – then we get to create a new story!

Our new story

Whether this has been a wake up call to seek help, take responsibility for what you are feeling and tell a new story or maybe this was the reminder you needed to keep going forward on your current journey and if you have been on this path for a while, this may be your opportunity to “level up!” This week our intentions are meant to shift our mind-set, our emotional state and if we stay the course – we will allow healing into our life in whatever area of our emotional and mental wellness we want to re-define.

This Week’s Intention

There are two intentional practices this week for us to integrate into our lives

1. Take the last 5-10 minutes of your evening before falling asleep to program your subconscious mind (which is at its most open state while you sleep) This means those last minutes of awake time are to be filled with all that was good in your day, cultivate gratitude! Silently run through your day and appreciate what you accomplished in your day (and if you accomplished 1 thing and you have a long list of things you didn’t get done – you focus on how good it feels to have accomplished that 1 thing!) Fall asleep with these (and any other) positive thoughts and feelings wandering through your mind and body. Let your sub-conscious mind absorb these while you sleep! It will absolutely begin to change how you feel in the morning!

2. Create a phrase for yourself that you memorize – that will be the first thought you think and the first words you speak when you awake in the morning. This is a positive statement that will intentionally shift you from the possible regular moans and groans of your usual tired, achy body or negative mind-set into… “One small positive thought in the morning can change your entire day!” Create a phrase that gets you in alignment with that new story you want to tell – whether you believe in it or not yet – start repeating this new phrase first thing every morning and it cannot help but support a better feeling story for you. Some examples below – however it is important to create your own version;

• I am safe
• Today is a going to be a great day
• I am healing.
• I am peaceful
• I feel great!

This week brings awareness to what we are thinking and feeling – feeling and thinking. It starts our new story of taking responsibility for what we are feeling and in these awareness’s we acquire the key to our emotional and mental wellness.

Have a fabulous week my friends!

Leslie

P.S. Every Tuesday at 11am-12:15pm is the live personal development talk and meditation. If attending live doesn’t work in your schedule or if you would just prefer to do the recordings – recordings are available for the duration of your membership – to view at your convenience. $33 per month membership fee for the personal development (wellness wheel series)

As I weave these teachings into the fitness and yoga classes as well – an all-inclusive membership may be more what you are looking for ($75 per month)

Contact me at leslie@wellnessdefined.ca for more information