When life feels like a struggle

Judgement vs discernment

Fact vs truth

Human beings are conditioned to see the world through judgment. The need to find out the facts, analyze, fix and come to a conclusion all without taking any time to drop into the space of the heart (that space of deeper knowing) to find out the truth. This is what keeps the struggle alive and it hinders one’s ability to get out of difficult situations.

Whether you struggle with pain, loneliness, loss, conflict in relationships, financial restraints, health issues or big life decisions, the ability (and willingness) to slow down, come out of your thinking, analytical mind & drop into your heart space to discern & see any and all situations through a different perspective is important.

It’s important because it can change your story and create solutions to any of your problems. From a discerning, inner space – great decision can be made. Listen in to this week’s video above to find more.

Then read below to explore deeper… 

When life feels like a struggle or you’re facing a big decision or life altering situation, it is so important to know the difference between judgement and discernment.

Judgement comes from your thinking mind, assumptions and yes a few facts will most likely be in there.

Discernment comes from your heart. A deep wisdom and knowing within. It’s your truth. Access that part within you and you can end the struggle and face those big decisions.

You are a Soul having a human experience and if you don’t take the time to listen to the messages of your Soul then your “human being” is at the mercy of your ego.

Don’t get me wrong though – I am not judging your ego. You need your ego. We all have one and we all need one. Ego’s often get a bad rap. They think they are protecting you but are really just caught up in the story of you

I have an ego and I am coming to quite like her. She has come a long way over the years. She is doing her best to stay in a space of mindfulness to move beyond all the stories, fears and judgements that not only society placed upon her but what she placed upon herself.

Growing up she was taught to judge. We all were. In school she was taught to look at the facts, then analyze and draw a conclusion. She wasn’t taught to drop into her heart. She wasn’t taught to listen to her intuition. She wasn’t taught to love herself.

My ego has a “story” she likes to tell…

The story of a girl (my ego)

There was this girl and she was a big “rule follower” She came into this role at a very young age. Mostly because being a rule follower seemed to make her life easier as a child. She really hated getting in trouble and would avoid confrontation at all costs. The cost was big though. She ended up losing herself and her connection with her intuition and her Soul. In losing these connections she developed many fears and created many limiting thoughts and beliefs about herself and her life.

She also developed a debilitating habit of being her own worst critic. She judged and blamed herself for everything.

She hated being judged. She became a people-pleaser to avoid the experiences of being judged. The judgements didn’t stop though. How could they? She judged herself the most so of course others would judge her as well – at least that is how it felt.

This little girl grew up and was lost. She lost her connection to her Soul. She gave her power away to her ego fears, guilt’s, shames, regrets, lies, judgements and thoughts based on the life and facts all around her. She was never taught to love herself. She was never taught to connect into her Soul. This was such a shame because her Soul had some deep wisdom to share with her. The wisdom of self-love, self-acceptance and self-respect. Without this wisdom, she tried to hide different parts of herself from the world. Believing she was unworthy of her own love & acceptance, she desperately looked outside of herself for acceptance and the pain was unbearable every time she was met with the judgements she feared the most in her life.

As a young adult, she remembers hearing about intuition. This was something one was supposed to follow? Right? She had many questions…What is intuition exactly and how do you follow it?

What she didn’t know then (but she knows now) is that even though all the Spiritual books she was drawn to were helpful and were definitely steering her in the right direction… the answers to her questions weren’t in those books. The answers were in that deeper space of knowing deep within her heart. Her Soul was full of wisdom and had all the answers.

She would get whispers from her Soul. She would get niggles and nudges and sometimes she would get some really clear messages but she wasn’t 100% sure what they were and they often went against the rules she was doing her best to follow. Her ego, feeling threatened would point out all the facts and reason why she shouldn’t listen to those messages. In the end judgements and facts won over her intuition and she taught herself not to trust in these messages from her Soul. These deepest truth were buried under her ego’s fears and mistrusts.

She remained curiously intrigued about these whispers though. They always felt so right, so loving and so she was often drawn back because of how true these whispers, niggles, nudges & whispers felt in her heart and her belly.

She noticed these feelings of love whenever she did yoga or went for a walk. Yoga eventually led her to meditation. To be perfectly honest meditation was a bumpy road. Extremely helpful in getting her through some really tough times but so very challenging to keep up with on a daily basis.

The FACT was…she didn’t have time. She really didn’t. She was a busy, single mother of three, trying to get back into the work force full time, juggle life’s struggles and raise her 3 daughters. Sitting in stillness and quiet of a meditation for any amount of time seemed silly, self-indulgent even and often felt like it was a waste of time. The fact was, there was just too much to do.

The TRUTH was… she needed to make time for meditation. The truth was, the days she meditated went smoother and over time she realized how beneficial these small daily commitments to meditation were. The truth was she was calmer, less reactive, less consumed with negative thoughts, less fearful & anxious, more patient and best of all more self-aware!

She noticed these whispers, niggles, nudges and messages a lot more often and realized this was her Soul speaking to her. She found her intuition! She followed it and learned to trust it! This felt really good. This felt right. This felt like truth.

How did she find her intuition?

The first thing she did was notice how often she judged herself (and others) and was willing to see how these judgements were affecting her life in a radically negative way. Her ego thought it was protecting her with these judgements, but all that did was block her heart and the intuitive messages from her Soul.

The second thing she did was practice gratitude. She wanted regular access to her heart. She noticed protecting her heart didn’t feel right and wasn’t making her happy. When she opened her heart with thoughts and words of appreciation and images of all that was good in her life, she experienced happiness and joy. Both of which grew the more often she practiced meditation, gratitude, yoga and self-reflection.

She met up with many challenges along her journey and she noticed how much more she struggled when she spent less time in her heart space of gratitude and fell back into the old habits & stories of judging herself and others.

She noticed how resilient she was becoming when she committed to her own well-being, meditation and mindfulness being on the top of that list.

Over the years as she remained committed to building this relationship with her Soul, she discovered self-love, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, self-worthiness, self-compassion and best of all TRUST. Trust in her self, trust in her intuition and trust in this relationship with her Soul.

As this relationship continues to evolve and get stronger she realizes this is the most important relationship of her life! Her Soul is her biggest cheerleader and loves her unconditionally, no matter what. In nurturing this relationship she realizes she is never alone.

When life becomes a struggle, or when she is faced with challenges or a difficult decision this relationship with her Soul has taught her to;

• Slow down
• Get out of her head
• Check inward
• Breathe deep
• Come into her heart space
• Listen

This is discernment.

Discernment is the deep inner knowing within us all.

When she drops into her heart space now and aligns with her Soul through breath, meditation & mindfulness, she can see all her problems from a new perspective. A willingness to see things differently evolves. She can look at the facts and discern whether they feel right to her. She simultaneously opens her heart and checks inward with her own inner truth. She no longer needs to people please. She no longer craves acceptance from others and if anyone judges her, she knows the judgement has absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with the conflicts within themselves.

She is curious, open-minded, flexible, loving, joyful and happy! Yes, she still falls into those stubborn old habits of judgment and will sometimes get stuck in her own limiting thoughts and beliefs – but now there is a light. A light that shows her the way out of these old habits, patterns & stories. How long does she stay back in the old stories? Only as long as it takes her to get back in communication, alignment and relationship with her Soul.

Learning to open her heart and develop a relationship with her Soul has led her away from suffering and into happiness – no matter what is happening in the world around her.

This week’s Awareness

1. Notice when you are quick to judge yourself or someone else. (What is your ego thinking it is protecting you from?)
2. Notice your willingness or unwillingness to discern. Are you willing to let your guard down? To drop into your heart space and access your deeper wisdom? That deeper space beyond your ego’s need to fix, analyze and control. A place of resolution and solutions!
3. If yes… Discern; slow down, sit in stillness & silence. FEEL. Breathe deeply. Feel deeper. Listen inward. Just listen & feel. Nothing to fix in these moments. Make this a daily practice. Get really good at it and build a solid relationship with your Soul.

Silence is key. From the space of silence solutions arise, new stories are created, peace is found, self-love & accept is cultivated and you discover the most important relationship of your life.

Namaste my friends;

Leslie