Here is our Challenge…

Find gratitude in everything we are complaining about!

Are you up for it?

I think we can all agree that in our world right now – there is plenty that we can find to complain about.

Whether our trigger is politics, our health care system, the school system, inflation, traffic, rude people, the weather, covid, vaccines, service or prices when we are out… the complaints are plentiful and everyone has their own opinion and often a side to pick!

Have we all not at one point (or many points) in our life complained about our job, our boss, a co-worker, our children, other people’s children or someone within our family? And if we have fellow friends and family to complain WITH – it fuels the energy of the complaint to even higher levels.

What about people who you feel are ignorant, crude, abusive or who strongly disagree with your beliefs, morals and judgements of what is right/wrong/good or bad?

And what about when we complain about ourselves? When we complain about our own health, our own bodies, our own injuries, we are depriving ourselves of much needed self-care and self-love.

 It is disempowering no matter what or who we are complaining about

It is time to take our power back! It is time to take responsibility for what we are feeling, what we are thinking, what we are saying and ultimately what we are needing.

Yes, complaining is inevitable. Judging and blaming others and situations around us is unfortunately a part of our human experience.

I honestly don’t think any one of us is truly immune to complaining – even with our best efforts and awareness to it – we are after all human.  

So, what if we shifted to observing our complaints and judgements and in response to them – created appreciation towards them for showing up for us?

Showing up? Appreciating them?

Yep – every complaint has a lesson for us.

If we can shift into gratitude for them showing up – we can then lean into an open heart space or at least an open mind to see that there is something we could learn about ourselves in the complaints that trigger us so deeply.

The things we complain about the most ARE the lessons we are avoiding learning the most

Especially the complaints that have an emotional attachment to them. The complaints that we can FEEL in the body. We can feel them in our shoulders, our head, our jaw, our chest, our belly or we can even feel them in our big toe! These sensations in our body means we are being emotionally triggered by this complaint we are thinking and/or expressing.

The deeper the trigger, the greater the lesson is

 The more uncomfortable these sensations are in the body when we complain…the greater the lesson

I strongly believe that we all came here into this world as Souls. We are all Souls who have agreed to participate in this human experience, all for the sake of learning, growing and evolving. Now, if you agree with me, then it would make perfect sense that each complaint we have is the human part of us (our ego-personality) coming up against a lesson that it gets to learn to evolve and grow. Not only does the human get to grow and evolve but so does the Soul.

When we deny, avoid, shun, dismiss or reject this belief, then our complaints will simply keep appearing in our life…over and over again. They may have many different faces or underlying circumstances but the complaint and the sensations underneath the complaints will remain. They will remain for our entire lifetime if we choose that. The problem with “being okay with” or accepting the complaints as just a part of life is that it renders us powerless. 

When we complain, we blame something or someone (possibly even ourselves) because our needs are not getting met.

When we complain, we blame. Whenever we cast blame in any direction it puts us in the role of “victim” When we are not willing to learn or even see there is a lesson for us, it then leaves us in the powerless victim role, which essentially leaves us stuck in the same old loop of complain-blame-victim-powerless loop. Around and around we go.

It doesn’t have to be this way

Which is why I have put this challenge out to all of us – me included as I easily get caught up in the same loops when I am not intentionally and purposefully observing all the things I find myself complaining about.

The challenge this week

This week I am challenging us all to;

1. Observe our complaints (without judging them, ourselves or others)
2. Appreciate the complaints for showing up as an opportunity for us to learn something very significant about ourselves.
3. Tune into the feelings we are experiencing in our body when we are complaining. Particularly the emotions that are present in our body when we are complaining but also the sensations we feel physically in our body when we are feeling these emotions.

There are many emotions that can arise when we are complaining, but here are a few to get you into the feeling mode;

• Angry, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, impatient
• Concerned, confused, hurt, nervous, pessimistic, worried
• Resentful, depressed, despondent, troubled
• Disgusted, perplexed, exasperated, bewildered, mean
• Disheartened, reluctant, discouraged, lazy
• Sad, disappointed, heavy, helpless, unhappy
• Scared, fearful, panicky, suspicious

And if you have spent a lifetime ignoring these lessons you may simply feel numb.

And many of us do – this is just your “poke” to open your heart and your mind to this concept

When we intentionally tune into gratitude for the cause of the complaints and when we tune into what we are feeling, we can then discover what needs of ours are not getting met

What NEEDS of ours are not being met? 

• Maybe we have a need to be heard or understood?
• Maybe we have a need for safety?
• Maybe we have a need for affection?
• Maybe we have a need for independence?
• Maybe we have a need for acceptance?
• Maybe we have a need to be loved?
• Maybe we have a need to be appreciated, respected or seen.

When our needs are not being met and we do not know how to communicate them effectively, we can fall into the loop of complaining, blaming and judging

When we understand how to communicate our needs more effectively, over time and with intentional practice we can move into our purpose of choosing self-care and chose to bring more peace, joy, adventure, connection and contentment into our life. Ultimately it will bring us more of the feelings we do want to feel in our life.

So, let’s start by taking responsibility for what feelings are triggered within us when we are complaining or judging. Let’s be grateful for the lesson we can learn from the complaints that keep surfacing in our lives.

Let’s empower ourselves to go inward and feel our emotions so that we don’t have to blame the outer world for all of our problems. There are plenty of problems in the outer world but there are very little solutions. The solutions in the outer world arise when we go inward for reflection first.

Complaining leads to blaming, negative emotions & feelings that keeps us stuck in our problems and far from our purpose. This feels powerless.

However, taking responsibility for our complaining thoughts and shifting into gratitude is empowering and leads us to productive thoughts, feelings and solutions. In responsibility we realize we always have a choice.

Taking responsibility leads us to a much better heart space and mind space to take our health into our own hands and to essentially choose love over anger, appreciation over complaining, acceptance over judgement and awareness over fear.

 This Week’s Intention Setting

This week notice the emotions you are feeling when you are complaining about something or someone

Observe when you are complaining (without judging)

S.T.O.P – Stop, take a few deep breathes, observe & then proceed – proceed with gratitude

1. “Today, I choose to observe my complaints. I no longer get absorbed by them, I simply observe them”
2. “Today, I choose to appreciate any complaint that shows up to teach me something about myself”
3. “Today, I choose to observe what I am feeling, when I am complaining”
4. “Today, I will be observant of what needs of mine are not being met especially when I am triggered by a complaint I have”
5. “Today, I take responsibility for what I am feeling. I no longer blame others for my thoughts or feelings”

Let’s choose to observe the complaining and feed the gratitude

See the lesson, feel the emotions, uncover the needs not being met. This is taking responsibility for our own happiness!!

Let’s tap this in…