Feeling

Feeling Emotionally vs. Feeling Experientially

Most of us have been taught to navigate life through emotional feeling. Very few of us were ever taught how to feel experientially. And fewer still understand how this difference impacts happiness, joy, anxiety, intuition, presence, gratitude – and most importantly – our capacity for real connection. The subtle but life-changing difference between feeling emotionally and feeling experientially is profound. Both are “feelings,” but they show up in very different ways – and they take us to very different places within ourselves.

Let’s dive a little deeper…

Emotional Feeling: The Emotional Brain

Emotional feeling is the type of feeling we know best – it’s the wave of emotion that rises up from the stories we tell:

• “I’m upset because…”
• “This reminds me of when…”
• “What if this happens again?”

It’s deeply tied to the past and the future.

This is where we experience hurt, fear, anger, insecurity, guilt, shame, grief and yes – even happiness.

But emotional happiness is a conditional happiness.
It tends to show up when things go “right” or when life matches our expectations. It’s fragile. It can be taken away – because it depends on outside circumstances lining up.

Emotional feeling is completely valid, human, and necessary – but it also tends to loop, replay and re-trigger itself through old memories and old protective patterns.

It’s the feeling of reacting to life.

Now contrast that with…

Experiential Feeling: The Light Beneath the Story

Experiential feeling is something entirely different.

It doesn’t come from the mind.
It doesn’t come from a story.
It arises directly from simply being present.

Experiential feeling is what fills your whole body when…

• you watch a breathtaking sunset
• you hold a newborn baby
• you feel the wind against your skin
• you’re lost in doing something you love
• you’re belly-laughing
• you’re in a moment of awe
• you’re making love
• or when you simply stop – really stop – long enough to feel the moment you’re in – no matter what emotion arises.

These experiences aren’t tied to the past or to the future.
They’re not analyzing, interpreting, or predicting anything.

They are felt from the inside, as a direct experience of being alive and in the moment – no good or bad emotions – just feeling it all.

The feelings that arise here are expansive, not reactive. We no longer react to the story. We expand to allow the emotion – we simply feel. We experience the feeling and when we allow this – we then tap into a higher awareness – we tap into our higher-self – and more imortantly we tap into: Presence. Joy. Gratitude. Wonder. Love. Connection. Peace.

This is where your higher-self actually lives and thrives.

Happiness vs. Joy: Why the Difference Matters

Here’s where this all becomes very profound and powerful:

Happiness is emotional, unstable and fragile…

Happiness depends on things outside of us.
It’s a result of conditions being “right.”

That means it is also fragile because the story and our expectations – controls the outcome.

Joy… on the other-hand – is experiential, present and vulnerable…

Joy a felt-sense that arises from within.
It’s not about circumstances – it’s about presence. It is never about the story.

Joy comes from the moments that open your heart and remind you that you are alive.

Joy is not something you achieve – it is something you allow – it requires vulnerability.

To feel joy, you must be willing to soften. To open and be vulnerable to all emotions. To drop the story and instead let yourself be touched by the experience and all of life. To feel joy, you must let each moment matter.

“Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” ~Brene Brown

Joy asks us to be brave enough to feel – not emotionally, but experientially.

It asks us to risk opening our heart and allowing ourselves to be moved.

Appreciation & Laughter: Two gateways to experiential feeling

Appreciation and laughter are two key components that unlock the gateway to experiential feeling…

Appreciation brings you into the present moment by focusing your awareness on what is true right now. It shifts you from the story into the moment. It shifts you from fear into acceptance. It shifts you from sadness into compassiom. It shifts you from “not enough” to “This is enough”

And Laughter? Laughter brings you into full-body presence: You cannot genuinely laugh and also stay guarded, closed, or defensive.

Laughter cracks you open.

Both require vulnerability – a softening and an opening of the heart.
Both drop you out of emotional feeling and into experiential feeling.

Why This Matters?

When you drop out of emotional reactivity and into experiential presence, something profound shifts:

You see things clearly. You feel your truth. You respond with a conscious awareness. You find your way back home to yourself. You realize you can handle any emotion. You realize you can handle any experience.

So, this week, I invite you to simply notice:

• When an emotional feeling is sparked within you – breathe.
• When you’re caught in the mind’s story – press pause.
• When you feel overwhelmed – breathe, pause & come into your heart.
• Feel it all fully. Feel it throughout your body – feel it without judgement.
• Choose to feel it experientially. Experience the feeling of every emotion and of every breath.
• Be truly present.

Then do something fun. Laugh. Be silly. Call that friend that always makes you laugh.
Dance. Feel the music. Sing at the top of your lungs. Let yourself be moved by beauty. Look for beauty – it is all around you!
Allow appreciation for this moment to soften you.

• Feel the air.
• Feel the moment.
• Feel the presence.
• Feel your life from the inside.

Because this – this right here – is where joy lives, where appreciation becomes natural, where peace is possible, where intuition speaks clearly, and where the real you – the one beyond fear, guilt, blame, shame and grief – can Simply BE.

You deserve this – we all do – it is our birth-right. Joy is a natural state. It is time to come home to yourself.

Namaste my friends;
Leslie 🙏💙
leslie@wellnessdefined.ca