Holding Space

The “Higher-Self Approach” to Every Relationship

As we move into the busiest, most emotionally charged time of the year, it becomes increasingly important not just to manage our stress, but to choose how we show up for the people in our lives. And the truth is – how we show up has the power to transform every relationship we’re in, including the one we have with ourselves.

This week’s reflection is about something deeper than communication skills or conflict management. It’s about learning how to hold space from your highest, most loving self – and how this single practice can change the way you relate to everyone around you

What it means to hold space

Holding space is the practice of allowing someone to be exactly where they are, without judgment, without fixing, without controlling and without absorbing their emotional state.

It’s the spaciousness of presence. It’s choosing to listen instead of react. To soften instead of defend. To understand instead of assume.

And in this simple shift, something powerful happens: you begin to see the other person from a higher, more compassionate perspective – one that doesn’t blame them or blame you.

From this place, you see their vulnerability, their fear, their longing, their limitations… and you see your own, too. Holding space allows you to meet them Soul-to-Soul, not ego-to-ego.

When both people hold space, the relationship evolves

A relationship becomes mature – not when two people grow old together or never argue, not when everything is peaceful – but when both people are willing to take responsibility for their own energy and their own healing.

When two people are willing to hold space for each other:

• Both feel safe to feel what they feel.
• Both can express without fear of being punished, shamed, or shut down.
• Both are willing to step out of their pain, pride and story and return to clarity.
• Both can see each other from a higher perspective when things get hard.

This doesn’t mean there are no triggers. It doesn’t mean there are no disagreements. It simply means love stays present even when the ego flares.

In this kind of relationship, both individuals evolve – not because they force each other to change, but because they create an environment where growth is natural.

This is partnership. This is emotional maturity. This is a Soul-level connection.

When only one person is willing

This is where the deeper truth emerges.

If only one person is willing to hold space. If only one person is willing to take responsibility for their energy. If only one person is willing to rise above blame, shame, guilt and defensiveness – the relationship will become imbalanced. Even unhealthy.

You can hold space for someone, see their goodness, witness their pain, and stand lovingly in your own truth – but if they are unwilling to do the same, the relationship can’t thrive.

You cannot heal a partnership alone. You cannot anchor love by yourself while the other person clings to their story. You cannot grow together if only one person is willing to grow.

In this case, protecting your emotional well-being is not selfish – it is wise. It is healthy. It is self-respect. And sometimes, choosing your own peace is the most loving thing you can do for both people.

How to know if the relationship is “fixable”

If you’re wondering whether a relationship is repairable, try this:

Practice holding space for them – fully.
Drop your judgements of them. Drop all complaints and negative stories of them and instead – see their strengths. See their goodness. Let them be in their story or their pain – hold that space. Nothing to defend, nothing to fix, nothing to change.

Do this consistently for a few weeks and then watch what happens.

If they begin to shift out of their story…
If they’re willing to soften…
If they’re willing to take responsibility…
If they’re willing to step out of their pride and meet you (even half-way) in that higher perspective… Then there is something to work with. There is potential. There is hope. Because there is an openness.

It won’t be perfect; because none of us are perfect. But the willingness is what matters.

If there is no willingness – no accountability – no self-awareness – no openness (and might I add – that actions speak louder than words) you may have your answer. This answer isn’t coming from fear or anger, it’s not coming from resentment, or from ego…it’s coming from clarity. From truth. It’s a knowing, coming from your higher self.

The Heart of it all

Holding space doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. It doesn’t mean tolerating mistreatment. It doesn’t mean abandoning your needs. It means showing up as the clearest, calmest, most compassionate version of yourself – so you can truly see the other person… and truly see yourself.

From this higher perspective, decisions become easier. Boundaries become clearer. And relationships – whether they grow closer or gently fall away – become aligned with your Soul rather than your fears.

This is the journey. This is the practice of holding space… and it can change everything.

Which leads to this Week’s Intention…

I invite you, this week – to intentionally show up in your relationships from this higher, more loving place. Practice holding space – truly seeing the people in your life, hearing them, and allowing them to be exactly who they are and be where they are without rushing to fix, judge, or defend.

Let your presence be the gift. Let your steadiness be the support.
Let your open heart be the invitation for them to rise into their own goodness.

And if you feel brave enough – offer this as a challenge to the people closest to you. Challenge them to drop their defenses, to pause their judgments, to soften their stories… simply by modeling what it looks like.

This week, love becomes the practice. Holding space becomes the medicine.
And your relationships – all of them – become the classroom for your own expansion.

Namaste my friends and happy holidays!
Leslie 🙏💙