Self-Compassion

The Pressure We Put on Ourselves

I’ll be honest – this week’s blog is very much about me and one of my own personal challenges.

This week’s theme has been a challenge I seem to keep needing to face: the tendency to put pressure on myself to “do it all right” to keep pushing, to strive for this invisible standard of perfection. And underneath it all? The subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) self-criticism that creeps in when I don’t meet those unrealistic expectations.

But this week, I realized something deeper: the most powerful shifts come when I’m willing to be vulnerable with myself. When I stop pretending, I’ve got it all together and instead just let myself be in the growth.

The Gentle Path to Growth

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, it’s never enough?

You make one small mistake and suddenly your inner voice gets loud – harsh, judgmental, unforgiving. Or maybe you accomplish something amazing, but instead of celebrating it, you quickly move on to the next task, barely acknowledging what you’ve just done.

If so, you’re not alone. These are the silent habits of self-criticism and perfectionism and they can quietly sabotage your peace, progress and even your purpose – often without even realizing it.

The Inner Critic That Never Sleeps

Many of us have internalized a belief that if we’re hard enough on ourselves, we’ll improve faster. That somehow, self-criticism is a motivator. But the truth is, beating ourselves up for every misstep creates fear – not growth…and it’s exhausting.

I know for me – self-criticism robs me of the ability to recognize how far I’ve come. It keeps me stuck in the false belief that I need to do more or be better and I completely miss the opportunity to appreciate all I’ve learned along the way. It’s like climbing a mountain and never once stopping to take in the scenery.

If we don’t pause to celebrate, appreciate – or even acknowledge – what we’re doing well, our nervous system doesn’t get these 3 very important messages:

• I’m enough.
• I’m safe.
• I’m doing pretty good!

Pressure, Perfection and the Myth of “Getting It All Right”

In a world that often praises perfection, it’s easy to absorb the message that we should always be doing more, doing it better, doing it all flawlessly. That is such a heavy burden to carry.

Pressure puts the body and mind on high alert. And although pressure may be needed at certain times to create a desired outcome… constant, habitual pressure creates a subtle, constant fear – of judgment, of failure, of comparing and not measuring up.

And here’s my truth: a truth I have recently come to understand…when I’m operating from fear and exhaustion, I’m disconnected from love. When I’m disconnected from love, I’m also disconnected from my intuition, my creativity, my peace and from presence.

When I’m trying to be perfect, I’m not being real. I can’t be compassionate and connected with myself while also demanding I “get it all right” or “get it all done.” Something has to give. It’s time to take the pressure off myself. And I am the only one that can do it.

The Gentle Shift: From Perfectionism to Compassion

So, what’s the alternative?

Presence and Self-Compassion.

Self-compassion doesn’t mean making excuses or avoiding growth. It means choosing understanding over judgment. It means noticing when I am feeling disconnected from my peace and my intuition and asking myself what I need rather than criticizing myself for what I think I’ve done wrong or didn’t get done. It means guiding myself back into alignment with love and self-compassion by taking the pressure off of myself and giving myself a break. It means bringing myself back to the present moment with a couple of full deep belly expanding breathes and a reminder that; I am enough, I am safe and I am proud of how far I have come.

In fact, compassion is what allows growth to happen more consistently and sustainably. When we feel safe within ourselves, we’re more confident to take forward action. When we feel seen and encouraged – even by our own self – we keep going.

And eventually… we blossom – while appreciating the journey along the way.

“Always Do Your Best”: The Heart of It All

In The 4 Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz the fourth agreement reminds us:

Always do your best.
Not more than your best. Not less than your best. Not someone else’s best. Just your best – as it is, right now.

Your best will look different depending on the day, your energy level and your circumstances. And when you fully show up for yourself – gently, honestly and compassionately – that is enough.

This agreement isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about showing up as you are, doing your best in this moment, and releasing the pressure to be anything more than that.

When compassion replaces perfectionism and you no longer need to prove yourself – you just get to be yourself. And that’s more than enough.

Reflection Questions for the Week:

• Where have I been pushing myself instead of supporting myself?
• Am I celebrating what I’m doing well & how far I have come?
• Can I offer myself compassion & encouragement instead of criticism when I fall short?

Let this be the week you give yourself credit, space and grace. I know that is what I am going to do – choose compassion over perfection and simply do my best.

That is the most powerful, honest and sustainable thing any of us can do.

If you’re recognizing yourself in these words – please know you are not alone. I’m walking this right beside you. And what I’m learning, again and again, is that doing my best doesn’t mean pushing harder. It means softening into truth, into vulnerability, into presence and into compassion.

It means reminding myself that I don’t need to do it all perfectly – I just need to keep showing up, gently, honestly and authentically.

Let’s take the pressure off, together.

Namaste my friends;
Leslie 💙🙏