Detaching from our Suffering

This week we detach from our suffering! Tune in to the above video and the blog post below to find out how!

Detachment leads to Freedom

All of our suffering comes from our attachments.

Think about this for a moment…

As human beings we have so many attachments. We tend to be attached to;

• Things (anything)
• People (anyone)
• Situations needing to unfold a certain way.
• Beliefs
• Relationships
• Jobs or our success.
• Our bank account
• Our looks.
• Our health
• Being liked, loved, accepted, appreciated or respected.

What do we feel when any of these areas of our life are not going the way we want them to go?

We can all relate to this – let’s use the pandemic as an example. What was your experience when the pandemic hit in March 2020? What were your experiences throughout the 3 years following?

One thing is for sure – every single one of us was faced with some sort of suffering because something we were attached to was threatened. The world as a whole was suffering. The world as a whole was attached. The world as a whole was afraid of losing something we were attached to.

Whether you lost (or feared you could lose);

• Someone you loved.
• Your health.
• Your job.
• Your freedom.
• Your dignity.
• Your bank account.
• Everything you had worked so hard for.
• Your friends or social circle.
• Your family
• A relationship.
• Your confidence.
• Your beliefs.
• Your ability to speak up
• Your ability to travel

The list could go on and on – just simply fill in the blank (or many blanks) of all the fears and worries during this time.

This blog isn’t about the pandemic, our beliefs during that time or what side of the controversy we stood on. It isn’t about what we lost, what we gained or what we experienced. It isn’t about our health or the deaths or even the families, friends and business’s that were lost during that time.

It is about learning something.

There are so many lessons that could be learned during the pandemic – however the lesson I’d like to shine a light on this week is the lesson of detaching from our words.

Why our words?

Happiness, love, success and all the things we want in this lifetime CAN materialize when we learn to detach from our attachments and this begins with bringing awareness to our words and the stories and fears those words create! Think of how differently the world or even just ourselves would have reacted if we had known how to detach from words during the pandemic.

Throughout all of the pandemic our suffering was at an all time high – due to our attachments yes, but more to the point – the attachment to the meaning of the words that were spoken. Whether they were words of control, anger, intolerance or fear in a disagreement with a friend, colleague or family member, or the fear (or even rebelliousness) created within us listening to outside sources, opinions and of course the news.  The confusion, the fear, the judgements, the losses, the heartbreak… the suffering.

Our Words

Our words carry momentum and whatever it is we are saying to ourselves can and will lead to anxiety, depression, anger, frustration and fear if we choose to feed that momentum OR our words can soothe all of those stories IF we choose to feed the calm, the love, kindness, gratitude, our optimism, our desires and what it is we do want.

This is an inside job though – others can try to soothe us with their words to us – but we are the only ones that can truly choose to either feed the fearful words or soothe them.

So this week we listen within! We listen to the words we are speaking. We get really curious.

And then we become willing to detach from these words…

When we can learn to detach from our words, we can learn to detach from;

• Stories
• Fears
• Guilt
• Shame
• Obstacles
• Suffering
• Thoughts
• Beliefs
• Emotions
• Who we think we are.
• Who we think we should be
• Who we think others should be.

The list, once again could go on and on.

HOW do we detach from our words?

We begin by;

1. Becoming very aware of our words
2. Being very curious
3. Listening

We observe, we get curious about and we listen to…

• The words we speak to ourselves
• The words we speak about ourselves
• The words we speak to others
• The words we speak about others
• Our thoughts.
• Our beliefs.
• Our judgements.

Then we get quiet. Really quiet. We get silent. We REALLY listen.

And if we are 100% serious about wanting the suffering to stop – we notice when we…

• Blame
• Shame
• Control outcomes.
• Control others.
• Judge ourselves or others.
• Defend our point of view.
• Need others to defend their point of view.
• Tell stories.
• Play the victim role
• Have anything to prove.

And we decide to no longer tell those stories and to no longer speak those words. We tell a different story and we choose to use different words. 

Then we allow;

• Stillness
• Silence
• Intuition
• Trust
• Solutions to spontaneously emerge.
• Freedom to be who we truly are.
• Freedom for others to be who THEY are.
• Freedom from our past.
• Freedom from our fears, thoughts and beliefs.
• Creativity
• The ability to see the wisdom in uncertainty.
• The willingness to step into the unknown.

Practicing detachment is one of the most loving things we can do for ourselves, our relationships and our mental and physical well-being.

How do we even get close to allow all this in?

We practice silence.

We practice stillness of the mind.

We practice meditation.

We can practice silence and stillness (of the mind) anywhere and anytime…

• While listening to someone talk – really listen (without needing to fix)
• While bringing awareness to our breath.
• While eating.
• While mindfully completing a task.
• While feeling our emotions.
• While curiously noticing our words, fears and worries (without judgement)
• While meditating (my personal favorite)

Another WHY!

Another why it is so beneficial to practice detaching from our words (besides finding peace, love and happiness) is that when we are willing to detach from the meaning of our words that create all the stories and beliefs that attribute to our suffering it allows us to tune into our inner wisdom – our intuition. Over time as we continually practice detaching from our words & stories, practice silence & listening and most importantly meditate daily, we release ourselves from our over-thinking mind and find we can trust our intuition on a completely different level.

Trusting our intuition honestly leads to not having to know what happens next! When we trust ourselves and our intuition we can more easily step into the unknown. We can step into the unknown with playfulness and curiosity. We can step into the unknown with ease, grace and harmony.

We stop struggling as much. We lighten up. We trust the Universe. We stop taking life and ourselves so seriously.

We surrender control when things do not appear to be going the way we want and instead we place our trust in the wisdom of uncertainty. We remember that uncertainty is essential on our path to freedom, joy, love and peace.

This Week’s Intention

1. We get quiet. We get curious. We get observant.
2. We tune into our inner wisdom, our higher self and our intuition.
3. We trust our intuition, the Universe and the unknown.
4. We meditate, in stillness and silence.

None of us were born to suffer. Accepting this as our truth will allow us to listen inward for our deeper truths, respect others and let them be in their truth. We essentially find our happiness, while allowing others their happiness.

Namaste;

Leslie